Nigella's Impossible Lifestyle

Now don't get me wrong, I love a good cooking programme and there is nothing more satisfying than seeing an over complicated, hard to source and time consuming dish being served up, knowing full well that not only can I not buy the ingredients that I am also a hopeless woman who needs to commit suicide immediately as I cannot make a Victoria sponge.

Britian's Best Dish is the one that gets my ire the most, ordinary people creating extraordinary dishes, possibly the only one they can do and then seeing that look on the judges faces when they have to taste it, they know it tastes like someone has pooed in their mouth, and then they have to say something positive about it. I like to watch these programmes whilst eating some cheese on toast or spag bog that I managed to heat all by myself.

Nigella on the other hand, she is not the ordinary person serving up her best dish to some sneery judge, oh no, she is the princess of cooking (we all know that the Queen is Delia) and she says that it is all right to use garlic infused olive oil because chopping the damn stuff up with a knife is both dangerous and time consuming. Saatchi's wife seems to be able to eat a river of crisp, fattening food and still manages to have a rich husband, darling children and a house in somewhere expensive like Notting Hill. She appears to be a very nice person and the woman can cook, but that lifestyle, dear God, how do people live like that? I can't imagine Nigella being so busy, she gives her children a bag of crisps for dinner, being so stressed out that she shouts at the good looking children or tells her husband to sod off. The lifestyle is all too perfect and one that I can never aspire to, but God damn it, I'll still end up buying her book, trying to make the food and then forgetting to make a proper dinner and eating wine gums instead.